i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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