I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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