We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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