I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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