I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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