It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
