Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
