I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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