the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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