So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
