I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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