Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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