Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
