I'm drive I can fine osifer
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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