So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
