Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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