Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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