Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
