we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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