I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
