tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
