No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you pee in the oven last night??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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