I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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