Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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