I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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