He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
