Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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