At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
