Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize