i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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