Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
