Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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