Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
