We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
