she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
