We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
