Soap is not a condiment
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize