it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
