is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
