this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
