I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
