if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i want to swaddle you in tequila
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
