got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
