from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
