***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize