I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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