id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
