this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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