Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
