We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
