he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
