is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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