About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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