just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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