Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
