Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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