I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
