how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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