I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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