He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
