K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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