I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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