you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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