Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
